How to find deep-rooted happiness via international dating

“How can I let go of the idea of what could have been and then move on decisively when my girlfriend goes from treating me like the love of her life to being 100% indifferent? Being with her was the most joyful year of my life and now I’m having a difficult time letting go and accepting the fact that it may not have been real,” says Tyler, “Please tell me how to let go for good.”  

• Do you have a sustainable form of happiness?

“Tyler, I think probably you have confused a sustainable form of happiness with a drug,” I say to him, “She shows you that she was a drug & not a real partner in your long-term blueprint and happiness. Although that year felt like the most interesting year in your life, it’s definitely not the same as long-term, deep-rooted joy and happiness.”

Indeed, Tyler has enough evidence to break the addiction to that drug by reminding himself that the lows weren’t worth the high she gave him.

This is actually quite common. Personally, I had a wonderful year with someone that I was madly in love with. That was clearly the happiest year in my life. But after he moved to another city, he only responded to a few emails of mine. Then he stopped responding completely. I cried and called my counsellor. After three sessions about this issue, I realized that what I had with him was just a type of emotional drug, something fun during a period of time in my life. It was surely not deep-rooted, sustainable happiness at all. In the end, I appreciate the good time that I had with him previously, but now I have already moved on – currently, I’m enjoying new hobbies, reading new books, traveling the world, meeting new people …. 

A real relationship should give you a sustainable form of happiness. A healthy relationship is all about long-term joy rather than short-term fun. Nowadays, more and more men in western countries are looking to find serious and satisfying relationships via international dating because Eastern European women don’t play games. 

• How to communicate your standards to your partner:

Tyler is ready to meet someone new because he has decided to move on. Now he wants to know how to communicate his standards to his new partner.

A conversation about standards has a structure: A) Honestly explain what you expect from a romantic relationship so as to keep moving forward together. B) Politely let her know it’s okay if she doesn’t want the same things in a relationship. Let her be totally honest about if she is on a very different path. C) Clearly tell her the consequences of not meeting your standards, i.e., if she can’t meet your standards, you will pull back because you believe that you will find the happiness that you are looking for.     

In other words, by showing your vulnerability as well as your confidence, you will quickly find out where she stands so that you are able to make an informed decision while making it very safe for her to be completely honest with you.

If she can’t meet your standards and you’ve tried to address this issue with her, you would be well-advised to let go for good and then start international dating because research shows that Eastern European women are more willing to improve themselves and make their men happy.  

 “A study shows that international dating is the fast-track to sustainable happiness.”