Online dating in the 21st century: How to have a good first date

Today let’s discuss how to make the first date absolutely beautiful.

Before you join the dating scene:

Before you get started, you’d better have a blueprint. In fact, leaving your love life to chance is just like trying to become wealthy by winning the lottery. That just doesn’t work most of the time. A switched-on guy knows the importance of meeting the ideal Ukrainian woman by design, not by default.

So, I’d like to encourage you to write down a list of standards that you have before joining the dating scene. Your list should include the non-negotiables when it comes to looking for a Ukrainian lady.

This is Harry’s list (Harry is an American guy looking for a Ukrainian girlfriend):

1. My girlfriend has to be kind (non-negotiable).
2. My girlfriend has to be well-educated (non-negotiable).
3. My girlfriend has to be generous (non-negotiable).
4. My girlfriend has to be attractive (non-negotiable).
5. My girlfriend should be decisive.
6. My girlfriend should come from a very good family.
7. My girlfriend should have many skills.
8. My girlfriend should be elegant.

Obviously, Harry’s standards indicate his values. You may have very different standards, which is fine.

Having said that, please do not let a wish list stop you from meeting wonderful women. As a matter of fact, the true purpose of creating a list of standards is to build your confidence so that you know you have high standards. Also, the list helps you get some clarity – now you know what type of Ukrainian women is the right type for you. Yet this isn’t really about making sure the right lady meets every standard perfectly because perfection is a joke – it doesn’t exist.

However, your non-negotiables can’t be ignored. You must keep your non-negotiables on the list all the time. But other things on the list are negotiable – perhaps you have met a very attractive and kind woman from Ukraine; nevertheless, her parents aren’t wealthy. Now you might want to delete an item from the list, as this woman offers more value in other areas of your life & she meets your non-negotiable standards.

The formula for a good date:

Emotional spikes + a relatively short period of time + an external focus = the perfect first date

Okay. Please let me explain this in detail.

First and most importantly, emotional spikes are very important in a romantic relationship because the emotional connection is the foundation of a real relationship. Having said that, it doesn’t necessarily mean you must build a very strong emotional connection on the first date because usually, it takes some time to create a strong emotional connection, which is absolutely normal. But you can definitely make the first date fun and enjoyable by being spontaneous and playful at times. For example, you can say this to the Ukrainian lady, “Let’s go to the movies tonight. Ice cream or popcorn? If you prefer popcorn, you can’t come.” Of course, she should know that you are joking. And that’s the perfect emotional spike!

In the second place, remember that the first date isn’t supposed to be very long. That’s because if the first date is too long, it may become awkward. For instance, the ideal first date should be a 35-50-minute date. Make it short, fun and interesting. If the chemistry is there, both you and the Ukrainian lady will look forward to the next date, right? You must avoid a 4-hour dinner date at this stage because when the first date is too long, it might even make you yawn (that’s so boring, isn’t it?)

Lastly, the third component is the external focus. Basically, it means the first date isn’t supposed to look like a job interview (two individuals are sitting face to face while asking/answering each other’s questions). When the first date becomes a job interview, it makes you nervous and uncomfortable. Thus, perhaps you should take the Ukrainian lady to the museum or the art gallery for the first date.

“Dating doesn’t have to be hard.”