Here is the uncomfortable truth that most people don’t want to talk about: manipulation can happen in good relationships. Sad but true. But actually, if you are willing to maintain a sustainable relationship with an Eastern European lady, you will find a way to make it happen.
What to avoid: When manipulation happens in positive relationships….
A girlfriend (platonic) offered me some tickets to a concert, so I assumed that she couldn’t go and she wanted to “gift” them to me. I was going to be interstate; therefore, it wasn’t until I actually couldn’t use them when I learned that those tickets she was offering also included one for herself. So, the question was: “Do you want tickets to…” But in actual fact, the question that should have been asked is: “Would you go to… with me?” Why did she avoid the real question? Well, the reason is the ugly truth: because if she had asked me to go with her, I would have said no – I don’t even enjoy her company, but clearly, she enjoys mine!
The most typical examples are when people say they do things “for someone” when in fact it’s not for that person at all. Let me explain this key point with some real examples:
“Iona, I bought toilet paper for you,” says Jimmy. If it really was for Iona, then Jimmy shouldn’t use the toilet paper & should ask for it if he needs some….. grrr…
“Annie, you need a massage because you’ve had a hard week,” says Luke. In reality, Luke can’t give what isn’t actually being asked for and expect Annie to be grateful for it. Truthfully, Luke can make a suggestion, but he shouldn’t get angry if Annie doesn’t want a massage – Annie didn’t ask for it.
The raw truth: If you want to give someone something, ask them what they want and do EXACTLY that, not sort of what they asked for…. But EXACTLY what they asked for.
Those who have watched Mad Men probably remember what happens when Betty decides to leave Don. Note that many people would argue that Don and Betty’s marriage doesn’t have a real problem. When Betty says, “I’m leaving because I don’t love you anymore”, Don says, “You don’t mean that. You are just tired today.” What Don says sounds so nice, but that’s 100% manipulation because he doesn’t want to be divorced. When people say, “We had a good time” but they didn’t. Yet the other person wants it to be true, so they say it anyway…. Grrr…
The famous pizza analogy (source: Wala Truscott, relationship advisor)
There are four key things that make a pizza scrumptious. Meanwhile, there are also four important elements that make a relationship with an Eastern European lady wonderful. Without further ado, I’m going to show you what they are right now!
I. The base – shared vision
II. The cheese – love
III. The sauce – chemistry
IV. Toppings – money
The base VS shared vision
The base supports the entire pizza. Without the base, the pizza doesn’t exist.
A relationship with a shared vision is a real relationship. That means both you and your partner know where this relationship is going. You have a blueprint together. You are happy with the long-term plan in this relationship. For instance, both you and your partner are aware of the fact that this is a serious and meaningful relationship. Another example is both you and your partner know this is a casual fling. In other words, you two are on the same page in terms of the direction of this relationship.
The cheese VS love
The cheese holds everything together and makes the pizza very satisfying!
Similarly, love in a relationship makes everything easier. Without love, a relationship is characterized by manipulation. Sad but true.
The sauce VS chemistry
The sauce gives the pizza the right flavor. Can you imagine a pizza without any sauce? Probably no.
Likewise, chemistry is the reason why your relationship is romantic! It gives your relationship the texture, the pleasure, the flavor and the flair, doesn’t it?
Toppings VS money
On a pizza, you can have limited toppings; you can also have lots of toppings. Without a lot of toppings, the pizza is still a pizza. But with plenty of toppings, the pizza is even better, right? That’s how money plays a role in a relationship, too. Frankly, you don’t need to be rich in order to have a good relationship. However, if you have financial freedom, your relationship with an Eastern European lady will be more enjoyable!
If you are still looking for a partner….
One decade ago, online dating was basically a taboo topic. But today online dating has already become very mainstream, if not the only way to meet someone suitable, right? Even successful entrepreneurs such as Tom Bilyeu famously said, “If I were single, I would definitely join a dating site!”
How to use dating sites to meet people and make great things happen: The first step is to do some research about the best dating sites on the market. Yes, there are hundreds of dating sites out there, so you have to filter these tools and choose the right dating sites for yourself. Second, you should join more than one dating site so that you can maximize your chance of meeting someone suitable – in order to find quality, quantity surely matters in the first place! Lastly, it’s your responsibility to meet people in person quickly and decide who is the right candidate & who is the wrong candidate. Don’t waste several weeks chatting with anyone on the Internet!
Why offline dating is still relevant: Although Internet dating is mainstream these days, it doesn’t mean offline dating is not valuable anymore, okay? In my opinion, offline dating is still very valuable today because we live in a modern world where everyone is looking at their phone. Consequently, many people aren’t very charismatic – they aren’t practicing using the right body language and having the best impact in real life. Hence, if you can work on yourself and improve your charisma, you will easily stand out from the crowd in the offline dating department. Bonus tips: Do the group version of the activities that you already do. Let’s say you love painting – can you join a painting class where you can meet many like-minded people? Figure out where your ideal partner is, and you should be there, too! If your ideal partner is someone who would go to the gym on a Saturday morning, then you should totally go to the gym this Saturday!
If you are married….
A common complaint is the marriage isn’t sparky anymore. When you look at the reason why you chose your spouse in the first place, that reason doesn’t resonate with you anymore. Consequently, the marriage has lost its spark. You can’t logically explain why the marriage isn’t appealing anymore – that’s the most important sign of a failing marriage because it’s already an emotional reaction rather than a logical reaction, meaning lack of excitement has registered in the limbic system of your brain. How to deal with it: Re-ignite the spark by having a date night once a week!
“Find out what motivates both of you and do something about it, e.g. starting a business together, enjoying a hobby together, etc.”