There’s a saying by the productivity bestseller “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”: “Begin with the end in mind.” By this, author Stephen Covey is teaching that one must have a vision for what they want to accomplish. Most of us go through life taking a random set of paths and making choices that seem too random at times. Most of us just go for what makes us feel happy. This is why it helps to have a main vision: it allows us to make each small choice count toward where we want to go.
This is also true on dating. Yes, we all want to find that one big love that lasts a lifetime. Or, we may find that one person that intoxicates us and then we live in the moment, but it eventually fails to work out. A lot of us approach dating that way: we tend to go with people who may feel good for the moment and then we get crushed when we part ways with them.
And so, it may help to have a goal in the pursuit of finding that one big love, that one true love.
When you date, it may help if you have an end-goal: to get married to that person.
With an end goal of marrying or being with that person for the rest of your life, you will be able to stay through the problems.
Let’s face it, human interactions are pretty complicated. Because human beings are as different from each other as one fingerprint is to the next, these differences may be the sparks of misunderstandings and conflicts. When we have no goal to reach, there is no overarching motivation to sail us through these negative moments that make us feel bad. And this may be the reason why a lot of us are branded as people with a “fear of commitment.”
Aside from providing a reason to stay through the problems that may arise, having an end goal of staying together “till death do us part” allows us to avoid the pain of a breakup.
As you power through the problems, you also serve to ensure that your dating relationship would avoid that inevitable end via breakup. As you sail through the problems that could have broken your relationship because you are committed to ensure that, indeed it is only death that could cause the two of you to part, you avoid the fallout of a breakup.
And so, it may sound so calculated, so cerebral, and you may fear that taking this structured approach to dating may take the fun out of it, but this productivity tip may be the one key to helping you make your relationship work. Of course, when you both find that it is really tough to stay together, and you both are truly fundamentally incompatible as individuals, then by all means, choose freedom and your respective well-being. But if you want a “happily ever after” with the girl you find, then have a vision for your relationship. Begin with the end in mind, and envision “forever” with that fascinating, intoxicating lady you met.