9 Things You Need to Know about Dating in your 30’s

When you are younger, it feels like you don’t really worry so much about dating. It’s like anything can go and it feels like you can just be more carefree. If ever you get to date anyone and eventually break up, it does not seem like much of a big deal. However, when you get older, especially when you reach your 30s, there seems to be more of a sense of urgency and you feel like you need to take matters more seriously; and many single men and women would agree to this. And even if you think that age is just a number, you feel like you are running out of time. While it is natural to go through this kind of dilemma, you should not really allow it to get the better of you. You should not worry so much about it but just bear these things in mind.

1. Know what you want

Being in your 30s does not mean that you just need to settle with anything or with anyone. It is important that things are clear to you, like the things you need and want in a relationship. You need to think about the things that you want in a partner. Figure it out as soon as you can, and better yet, write them down on a piece of paper. List the top things that you would be looking for in a man or a woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. This does not mean that you are being choosy or very selective. This only means that you know what you deserve and you are not going to settle for something much less than that.

2. Don’t make looks as your top priority

When trying to figure out what you will need to look for in a lifetime partner, you may want to avoid having looks as one of your top priority. Well, a good looking person may be attractive to the eyes but looks will not guarantee that your heart will still be captured when you grow old. If you are looking for someone whom you will commit your life to for the long term, it is important that you make character, values and attitude as your priority. They will mean so much more important especially in marriage.

3. Online dating sites and apps can come in handy during this time

Being single in your 30 may mean that you are busy with your career and everything that is going on with your life. In this case, online dating sites and apps can be your best friend. These things will be very ideal if you want to find a serious relationship but your busy schedule won’t allow you to spend so much time for socializing, meeting new people, going out, etc. Not only is this convenient, but it is also easier and it gives you more opportunities to get to know more people.

4. Learn how to let go of the past

When you are still single by the time you are 30, chances are you probably have had your own share of heartbreaks and pain. However, if you want to successfully move forward, you need to learn how to let go of the past. There is no reason why you should waste your time on your ex who cheated on you and broke your heart. There is no reason why you should still dwell on those negative experiences and allow them to affect your present and your future. If there is anything that you need to do right now, that is to use those experiences to be ready for the future. Learn from what happened in the past. You might be partly as fault for how your relationships ended before so make sure that you know what you need to do moving forward so that you can have a better relationship.

5. Do not be bitter

In your age, it is easy to feel bitter especially when you have not found the love of your life just yet. But if this is how you feel and if this is how you look at things, it will even become more difficult to find the one that’s meant for you. What you need is an open heart and an open mind. Do not let the negative get the better of you. Instead, you have to be positive that good things will actually come your way. Give yourself a chance to be happy. There is always a right place, right time and right person for everyone.

6. Don’t waste your time with the wrong people

When you get the chance to meet or date someone, remember that you don’t have to force yourself to like because you will only be wasting your time. There are times in our lives when you will know deep inside and you will have your gut feeling to tell you that they are not the right person. So instead of trying to convince yourself that maybe, all you need is a little more time, you might just want to be honest enough to tell yourself that it is not just him or her. And then, move on. You might be missing out on the right person for you if you spend a long time with the one who is not. Life is too short to be wasted with the wrong people.

7. Trust your intuition

Even if you are no longer in your 20’s, it does not mean that you have to grab every single opportunity that comes your way to date. While it is true that you have to be a little aggressive when it comes to the dating scene, it does not mean that you have to be that desperate to just go out with anyone whom you do not feel comfortable about. If your gut feeling tells you something is off about the person, then chances are your gut feeling is right. You can never go wrong about trusting your intuition. Don’t force something if you know that it does not feel right.

8. Don’t look for the perfect person

It is true that you should not just settle for anyone, especially when you are not completely convinced that they are the one. It’s because there is a good chance that the relationship will never work or it will never last. However, it does not mean that you have to look for someone who is perfect. It is perfectly okay to have your own set of standards, because after all, it is important that you know what you should be looking for in a person. But then, you have to be open to the reality that no one is perfect so don’t easily give up on someone just because you are gradually discovering their flaws and imperfections. Remember that you are imperfect, too. There are certain things about a person that we are willing to let go of so long as they are not detrimental to the relationship and it does not negatively affect you as a person. Just make sure that you are also clear about your non negotiables. After all, when you love someone, the most important thing is that you have found what you are looking for in that person and you are also willing to look beyond their quirks and flaws.

9. Be yourself

You don’t have to be someone you are not just to find your match. In fact, the best way to find the one that is meant for you is when you stay real and true to yourself. You want to be appreciated and liked by someone for who you are. It will feel a lot better when you know that you are loved for you and not for someone you are not.