Possible Realities You’ll Face On Having Long Distance Relationship
Online dating and long distance relationships seem to be more common nowadays compared to the last century. However, there are realities people have to face if ever they do decide to try out online dating and long distance relationships, also known as LDRs. Don’t let these deter you from doing it though there have already been very successful relationships that have come out of these. So, check out the possible realities you’ll face when dating online and having an LDR.
There are usually three really broad aspects of LDRs and online dating that are the root cause of problems. These are communication problems, relationship problems, and psychological problems. Under these common problems, we’ll be explaining all the things that could possibly fall under them.
As with any relationship, communication is important. If there is a failure in communication, it can get pretty frustrating for one or the other, but most times, both of you in the relationship. This being the case, it’s even more difficult when your relationship will involve only emails, chats, and video chats for the most part of the time you’re together. In short, it means you won’t be able to talk to each other face to face or at the least have physical contact. But, we’ll get into that later. We’re just trying to tell you how necessary it is to communicate in an LDR. It shows commitment toward one another. Plus, it shows that each of you is putting an effort. So, look at the reality of an LDR and online dating.
Different time zones
This is most often true. For example, if you are residing in the US, you’ll definitely have a different time zone than someone who’s residing in Asia or Europe. There will be a big time difference depending on which state you’d be living in. Time is, in essence, a “b*tch.” During online dating, you probably won’t be able to catch each other’s messages all the time. You’ll probably send her a message, and if she does receive it, she’ll reply to you. Then, you’ll reply to her, but you probably won’t catch each other online at the same time.
The time difference between the both of you will mean that in the long run, you two will have to sync each other’s timetables (somehow), and align each other’s schedules to two different time zones. So, you see where the difficulty starts in the time zone difference? There are often lapses in the responses as well because you might miss a notification, or she might, perhaps. This is especially important in the beginning as you’re trying to get to know each other amidst busy lives. So, hopefully, at least one of you has some awesome time management skills together with organizational and planning skills.
To take weight off talking to a girl, most men would rather chat than not knowing what to say or stutter. Therefore, there is a difference on how couples would rather communicate with each other. Especially with distance, the choice of the men would be very different from the choice of the women in terms of preferences in the mode of communication. Although LDRs commonly use a vast array of tools and apps to keep communication lines open, the preferred methods vary. For instance, the guy would rather chat than video chat, but the girl would rather choose video chat, so they can see each other. However, this also depends on the time zone. The guy could be in a meeting while the girl is at home and wants to video chat. So, it’s best that couples in LDRs or online dating know how to respect each other’s choice in the mode of communication.
Love may be different
There’s a huge possibility that love in terms of your culture is very different from the other. So, your language of love may be different in how it’s expressed in words. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the power of words forges emotional and physical intimacy. He says that to be able to create a deep connection with someone behind a computer screen, words should be used. However, problems may arise as a couple in LDRs are withheld or deprived of three from the five primary languages of love. The five primary languages of love include words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. With LDRs, couples usually miss out on acts of service as well as physical touch.
All relationships that stem from online dating will most probably become LDRs. This is due to the lessened possibility of partners meeting each other within the same area. However, some are lucky that this could happen. But, more often than not, couples from online dating usually end up in LDRs. Due to the distance, couples usually depend on the latest inventions to lessen the gap. Therefore, technology, in a sense, acts as a medium to bring you and your loved one together. Beyond this idea, though, it could also drive you two apart. Well, in reality, with all the new apps and ways to communicate with each other throughout the day, at the end of the day you may have already exhausted what you wanted to tell each other. It promotes “real time” sharing; so when you want to share your day, you can’t anymore as you’ve already shared it earlier. Hence, even if technology can bring you together, it could also be your worst enemy in an LDR.
Long distance communication
As mentioned earlier, long distance communication could be your enemy or your friend. But, are you ready to be cut off mid-sentence? Well, sometimes this happens and more often than not, you’ll have to repeat your story. How does this happen? The connection may not be good or the video quality sucks. Whichever one it could be, it’s certainly annoying. But, it’s the only way you two will be able to communicate. Emma Dargie, a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology says, “Establish the needs of each partner early on, practice working toward meeting those needs, and give feedback about which needs are still being unmet.”
“These needs can include agreeing on anything from on how often the couple communicates to how frequently they take time to see each other in person. In fact, it’s important to set dates for meet ups. Going long distance with no end in sight can be trickier.”
Catch the part two of this article soon… Reality of Online Dating: Long Distance Relationships on Relationship and Psychology!